Tuesday, December 25, 2012

another blessing year :)


All Praise to Allah

You Bet!

I had a great, wonderful and memorable birthday celebration today!

Turning 24 today!
Getting older and wiser i hope ^^

Had a great day!
This year's birthday was a lot fun since abg is around :)
Dad went to work but joined us for dinner :)

Pictures tell 'em all!

Was scrolling something and found a nice du'a to start my special day

Mom made us her special chicken chop for lunch! Thank omma!!! 

Someone came over and sent me a cake. A HUGE CAKE!

Tadaaa!!! A Rainbow Cake!!!!!!! This was soooo on my wish list! Thanks kamu!

And as expected, MORE RAINBOW!!! *drools*

Mom was excited praying and singing birthday song. 
Okay I overjoyed the most. 
Abg was like "bole rilaks tak?" 
I was like "suka hati laaa" :p
It felt like I was four and mom sang birthday song! 
How time flies~~

Family photo!!!
Dad wasn't around as he went to earn a living for us :p
The theme was Rainbow Madagascar.
Aiman made everyone wore the madagascar scarfs.
Abg the Melmen
Aiman the Alex and
Mommy the Gloria
It was hilarious!!!!

Squeeze all of that fun into one photo!!

Got a Whatssapp message from Abg Azhar and received this picture.
Comel gilos okay!!
Too bad the kittens are open for adoption!
If I'm not an asthmatic patient, I would definitely adopt these little fellas!!!  

Aiman made me smile when she posted a photo of us and wrote nice things for me :)
Thanks sis!
You're the ONLY sis I've got.
Love you till Jannah :)

My lovely NIECES made me cupcakes written HAPPY BIRTHDAY CIK NINA <3 <3 <3 <3
Comel sangat okay!
Pandai anak2 sedara cik nina buat apam :)

Zue from ICC Family posted last year's photo.
Okay my tudung was kinda serabut.
It was 4am in the morning!!!!
I was dozing off when suddenly everyone popped out a cake in front of me!
Thanks Zue!
Thanks ICC-ians!
Can't be any lucky than this :)

My dearest friend Nadzirah Ramdzan posted a really long lost photo of us.
It really touched me.
We had great times together.
Yes we fought. we cried. we hurt each other sometimes.
But we cure every wound with more and more love.
That is the beauty of friendship.
Thanks syg for the wonderful 6 years together.
Spain 2014 perhaps? ;p

18:38 Hrs.
Officially 24 Years Old.
Okay I know,
Gambar Memang Tak Bole Belah.....
Tak kisah laaa..
Setahun belum tentu sekali buat bende ni..
Vanity can be fun sometimes!

Pressies time!!!!
Aiman bought me this cute bag.
She said, please change your laptop bag and use this bag to work.
I wonder how would the reaction of the pak guards looking at me wearing this bag ~.~
Belasah jelaa~~~

Kak Ogy gave me this lovely kain.
I'm so in love with the material.
Kurung modern perhaps? 

Got a special present from someone :)
Best of all, it's purple!
Falling in love with it every second.
I'm naming it PURPLY PODDY!
Cheesy I know.

Dad finally joined us for dinner!
Went for a LOBSTER dinner!
Thank you Allah for the rezeki you have granted to us :)
It was yummy indeed!

Had a really long, wonderful day!
Couldn't ask for more
Coz I think I was blessed A LOT today!
Thank you for the ENDLESS wishes and prayers!
only Allah will pay all of your deeds!
I pray Jannah to all Muslims and happiness to all non-muslims friends and families

I can't choose my parents,
Indeed I've no say in choosing my siblings.
But if I've to choose any of 'em,
I'd choose my family members.

Thank you Allah
for the warm and cosy family

Thank you Allah 
for the wonderful friends

Thank you Allah 
for the delightful rezeki

Thank you Allah 
for every tear You made me shed, You replaced 'em with a brighter and stronger smile on my face

Thank you Allah
for the bittersweet journey which made me a wiser person each day

Thank you Allah
for every breath and let me live as each seconds passed

Thank you Allah
for sending me all kinds of people around me as teachers to guide me the rights and the wrongs

Thank you Allah 
for the great colleagues and bosses which made me feel a part of a family in the office

Thank you Allah 
for granting me people who loved me for WHO I AM and NEVER GIVE UP ON ME

I am not perfect
I have flaws
A lot of 'em

I made sins and making 'em every second
Small ones
Bigger ones too

But He NEVER STOP GIVING ME things that I'd wish for
I'd wish to be a better servant in the past years.

Forgive all my sins, Ya Rabb.
Forgive all my sins, dear family members.
Forgive all my sins, friends.
Forgive all my sins, teachers, neighbours and other people who had met me previously.

I am nothing than a sinner.

Thank you Ya Rabb.
I pray for a better year ahead.
A better musleemah.
A better daughter.
A better sister.
A better cousin.
A better friend.
A better best friend.
A better lover.

Thank you Allah for NOT GIVING UP ON ME.
Ya Rabb, Please grant Jannah to my parents, siblings and other family members.
Ya Rahman, Please grant Jannah to every musleem around me.
Ya Rahim, Please save all my cousins, the mujaheeds all over the world.

I'd pray YOU will be luckier than me.

May Allah bless.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Only Love Can Save A Wounded Heart


Just when you feel that the world is against you.
Just when you feel that you are alone,
Just when you feel that your imaan is really being tested,
Allah will save you.

Really He will.
Allah breaks our heart to save our souls.
He gives us pain because He loves us.
He tests us with things that we think that we can't handle.
But He is Al-'Alim.
He knows everything that is really best for us.

Kamu diwajibkan berperang (untuk menentang pencerobohan), sedang peperangan itu ialah perkara yang kamu benci dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang Mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya.

I keep on reminding people around me about the above Aayah whenever they seek my advice each time they faced difficulties in life.
I guess I need to be reminded myself.
Allah gave me a test which I can really relate to the Aayah above.

It's really true that when you are being tested, you are actually really closed to Him.
Simply because He is paying extra attention to you right now! Lucky you!

If you feel you are alone, you are so wrong!
You have His love.
Love Him above all and you will be healed.

Allah loves me that He had granted me the best parent and family I could have asked for.
Allah loves me that He had granted me supportive friends around me.
Allah loves me that He tested me at the same time He is teaching me to be strong.
I love Allah.

Do you know that a person is very lucky to have living parent?
Parent's du'as can save you from bad things that might happened to you.
That is the special gift that Allah had given to parents.
Alhamdulillah I have great parent whom keep on praying the best for me Here and Hereafter.
At the point that I feel lost to choose a road, my parent's du'as had saved me.
I believe in Allah's plan and I am being Husnuzon towards Him.

I really am lucky to have supportive friends around me.
Real friends will say the truth even when it may hurt you.
Truth hurts but lie hurt even more.
Real friends will never leave you when you are alone.
Thanks friends!

A special sister of mine just uploaded a V-blog and made me teary.
Who says Jihad is easy?
Do watch her video because insya Allah it will benefit us all.

I feel peace now.

Allah did not promise that the route to Jannah would be easy.
But He did promise that Jannah is sweet.

Allah did not promise that life would be smooth as we wished for,
But He did promise to grant all our wishes.
If He did not grant them now, He will grant us with a better rahmah.

Allah did not promise that our imaan will not be tested.
But He tests us to make us stronger.

May Allah bless~

Monday, October 1, 2012


i need some serious writings to do.
got to make the my statistics for my posts rise!

this time, i'm writing about something about hope.
well, i think i should know about hope.

amanina means "our hope"
sounds so positive right? hahaha
but try talk about pressure.!
imagine me carrying all those hopes.
so many expectations to meet.
tough job huh?
tell me about it!

i guess having a name that carries so much value kinda give advantages to you.
it makes you an optimistic person.
all the time!

sometimes hope can hurt you though.
very hard indeed.
at times that you may think hope can save your life,
it kills you instead.
or worse, it kills you slowly.

people might think that if hope can be so hurtful, then why do we need it so much?
well duhh..
hope is keeping you breathing right now.

Allah is the Most Gracious Hope-Giver.
Without His hope, we are lifeless.
Say alhamdulillah and be thankful for the hope.

one mutawwif once told me,
whenever He gives you a rahmat or anything good,
and if u say "alhamdulillah" 3 times,
the angels will pray for more rahmat for you.
wouldn't you want that?

alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah :)

sometimes you might not like the hope that you're given.
but as long as it's enough for you to continue living,
i guess it'll do just fine for the time being.

my friend always say, Love will grow.
She even used that phrase as her theme/tagline for the wedding.
as for me, Hope will grow.

i'm learning to see things differently now.
i learn that hope is not something you just can wait for it to come,
you need to put some effort and find it yourself.

and when you've found even a slightest hope,
grab it, hold on to it tightly.
coz you might not find the same hope elsewhere.

for all you know, the future is uncertain.
you just can't promise anything.
is a promise a part of hope?

what if things doesn't turn the way you want them to be?
people would normally blame those promises that have been broken.
is it fair then?
to rely on something in the beginning and blaming it at the end.

well, people.
stop blaming and start looking for new hopes.
Allah is with us.
ask Him anything,
request anything that you want.
You'll be granted.

"Dan apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu mengenai Aku maka (beritahu kepada mereka): sesungguhnya Aku (Allah) sentiasa hampir (kepada mereka); Aku perkenankan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila ia berdoa kepadaKu. Maka hendaklah mereka menyahut seruanku (dengan mematuhi perintahKu), dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepadaKu supaya mereka menjadi baik serta betul.(Al-Baqarah Ayat 186)
source: http://4mambang.blogspot.com/2011/08/allah-itu-dekat-dgn-hambanya.html

At times when you feel lost,
find Him.
be close to Him.
love Him above all.
because hope is with Him.
be better.
pray hard.
and you'll never lose that hope.
Insya Allah :)

i may feel like the hope in front of me might not to my liking,
but who am I to question the hope that I'm getting, right?
hikmah or blessings are His secrets.
I'm praying for the best.
I know He is saving the blessings for me to find out.

Don't despair coz hope is everywhere.
May Allah bless~

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

love is a process


today i learned something new,

someone shared a link today:

interesting fact, i'd say.

without we realize, the thing that we called love is developed by ourselves.
still, we can't deny the fact that the love we feel today,
is just a small loan from Him.

thank you Allah for this wonderful feeling :)
imagine not having any affection in life.
then, all parents would abandon their kids,
all kids would just leave their parents at the old folks home when they grow up.
people will keep fighting and there will be no peace.
peace is love :)

I'm in the midst of searching my answer to all the strangled questions that would not stop banging my head.
Honestly, I am stuck between two roads.
Seriously, I can really feel the emotions when the writer writing the poem "The Road Not Taken" right now!
I think I can score 99% if I were to take the subject again! haha

Anyways, a part of me wants to move forward.
I mean, start a new life or meet new people.
Or if I can't manage to meet new people,
at least I can open my heart to accept the love from the person who loves me for who I am.

Another part of me still hanging in my fantasy.
and it seems that I am happy in it though.
friend of mine once told me this, 
What is happiness when most of the feeling you feel is pain?
She got a strong point there, right?

Why do people find it hard to move on?
I guess the next step is to implement the new lesson:

perhaps a process to let go
process to face the reality
process to be mature

normally I'm a fast learner *ok perasan*
but when it comes to relationships,
I'm slow as a snail *fact*
plus, I can be stubborn as well *i'm so NOT proud of myself right now!*

but life is a learning process
i just hope i'm not too late to really start living it.

i am thankful for all the love around me.
really cool and understanding parents & siblings
non-stop support from friends 
motivations from people who dislike me (oh yeah. i got enemies and i just got to know that!)
may Allah showers them with more love in life :)
above all, I really can feel the love from Him
coz with Him, I would have the chance to feel the love around me :)

You bet!
I know you're lucky too!

Alhamdulillah :)
may Allah bless

Saturday, September 22, 2012

not so smart

I shouldn't have press the Enter button when I decided to stalk you.
Such a stupid act!
Just great, nina!
You are breaking YOUR OWN HEART.
Could there be any more brilliant actions you can do?!

At this point, I'm so pissed with myself.
I looked at *that someone*'s page.
Then tears fell from my eyes.

Self-psyching is one of the best things I should do right now,
But I kinda suck at doing it right.
I keep on hurting myself.
Stupid right?

Hope sometimes can hurt you.
It's so true.

Believing hope is hard,
Accepting facts is harder.

What do you do when the person you waited said he loves you
But you know there is no chance to share your life with him?

What do you do when another person said he loves you for who your are, for better for worst?
But in your heart you're having doubts, you don't want to let the 1st person go, you keep living in your insecure dreams?

You got it right.

I don't know why I keep hurting myself.
I wasn't this vulnerable before.
I can't think straight and IT SUCKS!

That 1st guy I'm talking about, well he seems happy with his life now.
So, why am I hurting myself?
Don't I have the right to move on and be happy?

Is happiness something that is so hard to achieve?
Why am I making things difficult.
What's holding my back?
Maybe I need some reconciliation to do.

Dear Allah,
Please save my soul.
For I seek Your Forgiveness.
Please grant me happiness.
Eternal happiness.
Please heal this sorrow.

May Allah bless.

Friday, September 21, 2012

September Fever

It's been a while since I last update my blog.
I keep on drafting the posts inside my head but never actually translate into the blogger template.
I guess right now writing all-in-one post is more convenient to a procrastinator like me :)

So many things happened in September.
Someone who is very dear to me got married in September.
I'd pray Allah will shower that someone with endless love and happiness till Jannah :)

A lot of things I had learned in September.
One, if people hate you, just keep loving them.
There is nothing more powerful to cure hatred than love.

Second, if you feel frustrated, just let it go.
Coz keeping everything to yourself at one go, is not gonna do any good.
People keep asking me bout my statuses in FB, Whatssapp and Skype.
Sometimes you can't get everything you want in life.
You just have to face reality and move on.

Is it easy?
Easy to say but not so easy to do.
Been there done that.

Currently, my parents keep on asking me about marriage. *lemah longlai*
Apparently, I was given a due date to get married. =.="
About love life, let's just say I'm still searching for the right answer.
Having doubts can make your life hay-wire!

I personally think that the process of choosing a life partner is the hardest process that everyone can face.
At the point off choosing the right partner, you might think that you have made the right choice, but suddenly you have doubts about your decision.
Talking about JODOH, a friend of mine, gie wrote something that opens my eyes.

"bila Allah kata belum, bukan bermaksud tidak akan. bila Allah kata ya, bukan bermaksud tanpa ujian. tapi, bila Allah kata "Berdoalah!!", nescaya Dia akan perkenankan :)"

oh Allah, grant me the best man for me.
for You are the Most Merciful.
I might have made sins previously or going to make more sins in the future,
I only seek for Your forgiveness.
I just wanna be happy, please.
Let me find that happiness.
Please grant my wishes. Ameen

May Allah bless

Sunday, August 26, 2012

you control your own life

Sekarang ni banyak sangat stories nak tulis.
Tapi duk tangguh-tangguh memang la blog tu bersawang.
Nak tukar blog template pun tak tukar-tukar.

Latest news about me,
I'm having a hard time right now.
Really low sekarang.

I feel that someone is controlling me right now.
For every single word I said, it seems so wrong.
For every angle I thought, it seems not right.
For every single word I wrote, it looked like the other way round.

I feel so helpless.
The point that I felt disappointed is when I let the person control me.
I feel so low.

I really believe that each person has every right to think, believe, feel and express in his on way.
Nobody should ever over rule all those things.
It's just so wrong!

Even a slave has his own believe, thoughts and expressions.
Just look at Bilal Bin Rabbah.
He kept worshipping Allah even though being tortured by the Kafirun.

Latest study showed that there are more than 800 islamic women scholars back then.
All those beautiful ladies have their own studies, ideas and papers to be shared.

And me?
I let some stranger, not even blood related to control me.?
Gosh, I need some self-reconciling to do.

My lecturer once shared me this,
It's so true!

May this be a lesson to me and everyone else.
Taking the opportunity of the Forgiving Month of Syawal,
I apologise for every single wrongdoings to everybody.
And I forgive everyone.

May Allah bless~

Thursday, August 16, 2012

the one that got away

This is my current favourite song.
Tiffany Alvord & Chester the one that got away.
The lyrics really hit my heart.

"I should have told that you are meant to me,
Coz now I pay the price"

"In another life, I would make you stay,
So I don't have to say that you're the one that got away"

Today is the final day, the D-day.
The day that I'd wish I can just skip.
Heart started shattering,
Hands are shaking,
Eyes are getting blurry,
And slowly tears started to fall.
It's painful it's just like cancer deteriorating the body.

Would you just at least for a second understand how I'm feeling right now.
Sometimes I just wished you could at least feel this feeling for a minute,
I just wished I am stronger.

I said I am a strong girl.
I built a huge defensive wall all around me,
So that I wont get hurt.

But I guess,
I've lost at my own game.
I've destroyed my own wall.
Look what that got me into.
I'm suffocating.

God, please let me be stronger.
Please let me face all the challenges ahead with a big bright smile,
Please let my imaan control myself and not my emotions.
Please let me move on.

May Allah bless~

Saturday, August 4, 2012

waiting for the rainbow to shine

I have not write for a quite some time in 2012.
You can see the statistics so obvious from my post history.
A lot had happened in 8 months.
I wished I had started writing from January but as usual, procrastination is a serious disease.

Anyways, just to share my latest emotion status: i'm confused!
When you're at the age of getting married, I guess this is the phase in your life that you become topsy turvy and sometimes you lose your way.

For this post, I would like to share something I learned about something about marriage.
Lame post huh?
I know.
But it's something that EVERYONE should know.

Ladies, if you have met someone and along the road, you met someone better,
Better in a sense that you actually thought that you've found your SOULMATE,
You need to take a step back and think again.

Our dear Prophet had said,
“Apabila orang yang engkau redha agama dan akhlaknya datang meminang, maka kahwinkanlah dia, jika tidak kamu lakukan demikian akan berlakulah fitnah di bumi dan kerosakkan yang besar."
Source : http://webblog.myjodoh.net/2007/07/16/panduan-memilih-jodoh-daripada-rasulullah/

And dear Muhammad pbuh said again,
Para sahabat bertanya, “Ya Rasulullah ! Walaupun dia telah mempunyai isteri?” Lalu Rasulullah s.a.w mengulangi, “Apabila orang yang engkau redha agama dan akhlaknya datang meminang, maka kahwinkanlah dia!” sebanyak tiga kali. 
Source : http://webblog.myjodoh.net/2007/07/16/panduan-memilih-jodoh-daripada-rasulullah/

So, dear sisters, if you have too many choices, let's get back to basic.
From my experience,
1. Be good because that's what Allah wants.
2. Istikharah because only Allah knows the best for us.
3. If a man who happens to have such good akhlak asks for a hand in marriage, ACCEPT him! because that's what our dear Nabi had taught us.
4. If you found another guy whom you think you like better that the first guy, well, you really need to start cracking your head to find reasons for dumping the first guy. Remember, it's what you need to answer to Allah that matters because breaking promises is MUNAFIK nauzubillah.

I thought I've fallen in love for a guy whom happens to hit so many points from my dream-guy list.
But Allah knows best.
I'd pray for the best answer and I finally got one.

To tell you the truth,
That answer is not what I really want,
but Allah will grant you a partner whom you NEED right?

Life is a learning process.
New pains can turn into new wounds.
New wounds can leave scares.
The scares that make you heart stronger.

MayAllah bless.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Cry to save a heart

Oh God, spear me some tears
Let it all out
So I don't have to carry this guilt

Please don't let it hold back even one drop of it
Coz every drop means regretful
Please let my heart be at ease 

Coz God, I only have you
For only your love makes me feel peace
No doubts towards your love
For I will never be heart broken as long as I am with you

God, I just want to cry, cry and cry right now
Let me smile again for tomorrow
Don't let me fake the smile
Fake smiles only breaks the heart even worst

Heart, please heal fast
Heart, please don't torture yourself
Heart, please be strong
Heart, please don't fall sick
Let imaan heals you

may Allah bless

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

after 6 months NOT abandoning Ms. Heelaca

It's been half a year since I updated the blog.
I got sooo many stories to share but I keep on procrastinating posting the stories.
Sorry Ms. Heelaca.
Even the chatbox has expired..

Here a few things going on in my life..

I celebrated my 1st year anniversary as an employee on 1st June 2012.
Time sure flies.
Throughout the year, I learned a lot.
Previously, I don't even know how Internal Audit works.
During Uni time, I hated IA subject.
Honestly speaking.

When I got to know I was stationed in Group Internal Audit Department (GIAD),
I tried my best to see every little thing will give positive impact to me.
The more I hate IA, the more I'm starting to love it.

I got great bosses, my IM is super nice, team members are such a help.
We're the only unit in GIA that consist of ALL GIRLS!
Right on!
Girl power, yaww!!

I'm hoping to learn more in TNB.
Good Luck to me then! ^^

 31.05.2012 is the 366th day in TNB! yeay!

 We celebrated Aiman's 20th Birthday on 2nd June. What a coincidence!

 She's wearing braces now. Looks like a nerd! haha.. but she's starting to give BIG SMILE each time she smile! that's great!

Mum & Dad --> First time on Dais after 28 years of marriage!
They never been on dais when they got married.
When they were given the opportunity --> AFTER 28 YEARS LATER, 
they surely gave a HUGE SMILE in front of the camera! ^^

 I went on training from 4-8th June.
I was the only non-engineer on the table.
But It's good though.
They way engineers think are quite different from us accountants.
I surely learned the point of view from technical people.
It's all about PRACTICALITY!
Cost sometimes is the LAST thing they think of.

I got bored.
Boring stuff they taught.

 On saturday, I got my sudden asthma attack at night.
I was panting for air alone.
Plus, both my inhalers had expired.
That's just great!
On sunday, got myself a inhaler!
On monday, I bought myself Baskin Robbin ice cream!
Good cure for asthmatic people like me ^^

Then at night, I suffered non-stop coughing.
Thanks to the ice cream!
Mom gave me Lingzhi (look up) before going to the clinic!

Oh yeah.
Current best buddy.
Hopefully not forever.

Got myself a medical leave for today!
But sitting at home, alone, so called resting is so boring.
I need to get back to work!
Cant wait for tomorrow!

All is well right now.
I am blessed.

May Allah Bless~